Your 6-minute investment to get 1% better at life each week
If you are a midlife man in a leadership role, I’ve created The Prime Movement for you. As a coach and former global C-suite executive, I understand the unique challenges you face. In a world where your struggles can feel unnoticed, I see you. I get it, because I’ve lived it.
The Prime Movement is a community for those of us who aren’t ready to ‘quiet quit’ life. This is for those of us who believe in the power of progress – mentally, physically and spiritually.
It’s for those who not only dare to know.
It’s for those who dare to grow.
What’s coming up:
Marginal Gains: News, Views and Life Hacks
New study says losing your sense of purpose may hurt your brain +
5 productivity tips that actually work +
Why you should do it the hard way
I know that as a leader you don’t have the time to stay on top of everything that’s happening out there, but don’t sweat it: I’ve done the hard 9 yards for you and sifted through the noise. Here’s what you need to know this week:
1. New study shows that ‘quiet quitting’ can hurt your brain
OK, so you are going to be hearing a LOT from me on the subject of ‘quiet quitting’ (see my latest Midlife Musings below for starters). My take is that it’s one of the biggest lurking dangers facing midlife male leaders and a study that has just been published in the Journal of Neurology Neurosurgery & Psychiatry appears to give substance to this belief. In simple terms, you could be increasing your risk of dementia if you’ve slipped into that mindset of lacking purpose or feeling you’ve done it all in life. You can read more about it in this CNN article here, but the big takeaway is that if you’ve lost direction and are wandering aimlessly, you’re running the risk of hurting your brain, so it’s time to take action.
2. Five Productivity Principles (that actually work)
Oh no, I hear you cry, not yet another take on the subject of productivity… bear with me! Mark Manson is the best-selling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k, and in keeping with his no-bull approach, his new video on 5 productivity principles contains more knowledge bombs in its short running time than countless books on the same subject. It’s honest, it’s humorous and to use similar language to Manson himself, it cuts through the cr*p. In summary, the most productive use of 11 minutes of your time this week (10 if you skip the 1-minute advertorial at the 5-minute mark!).
3. Why You Should Always Try To Do It The Hard Way
I’m looking forward to seeing Ryan Holiday in London in November, but in the interim I’m getting a lot from his latest blog post. The author of essential reads like The Obstacle Is The Way and The Ego Is The Enemy, explains why blazing a new trail rather than going over old ground is the way to go. His point is that if it’s easy, you’re not growing. See My Midlife Musings below for more on this.
    |
My Midlife Musings: Personal Reflections on Leadership and Growth
Have you started to quiet quit in life?
Why you need to stop that, right now.
So let’s use that new Journal of Neurology Neurosurgery & Psychiatry study linking loss of purpose in midlife with cognitive decline as a jumping-off point this week to tackle something I feel incredibly strongly about.
We know the midlife period comes with its own unique set of challenges and I’ve seen a lot of leaders gradually switching from offense to defense as a coping mechanism, both professionally and personally – if that’s you, beware, as I promise you it’s a route built on the illusion of security and a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of change.
Abandoning that pioneer spirit that made you successful in the first place, and instead seeking to circle the wagons involves a risky adoption of a ‘playing not to lose’ mindset versus ‘playing to win’. This shows up in many different forms, such as:
❌ Focusing on holding on to your job rather than excelling in role: for example, avoiding ‘big decisions’ because you’re worried about the implications
❌ Avoiding anything that makes you feel ‘uncomfortable: for example, finding excuses not to learn a new skill
❌ Lacking curiosity: for example, not wishing to understand different perspectives
I get it. I’ve been there. When you have done the grind and shot your shots to get to a place your younger self thought was the finish line, it’s completely natural that your thoughts turn to preservation rather than progress. I learnt this the hard way in the recent past, as while on paper my life looked golden based on those superficial markers of success such as status and salary, the reality is increasingly felt lost – I was in a role where I wasn’t aligned ethically or practically with the company trajectory, but I stuck with it and clung to ‘badges’ like my job title to justify rolling with it. In short I was holding myself hostage – I don’t want you to make the same mistake and that’s why I want to challenge you to rethink this.
Progress is ALWAYS possible – it may not be linear, but there’s always a way, it just requires that mindset shift to get back to focusing on potential opportunities rather than only seeing threats.
Even more importantly, you need to grasp that not doing anything in this situation is ultimately far more risky than doing something. This quote by the English philosopher Alan Watts captures your situation perfectly:
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
As uncomfortable as change can be, it’s also inevitable, so are you going to ride its wave or do nothing and risk getting washed away. What does that look like? Here are some specific examples just to act as thought-starters:
✅ Dive into understanding how AI is going to affect your business – at the very least you’ll learn new knowledge and skills that help you stay relevant. At best you’ll be seen as a thought leader in this space and this can propel you to new heights.
✅ Go and learn that musical instrument you always wanted to – at the very least you’ll have the satisfaction of banishing the dreaded ‘what if?. At best you’ll have created a great new space for wellbeing that allows you to ‘flow’ and fills your soul.
✅ Spend time with a ‘Gen Z’er’ – At the very least you’ll listen to their perspective and come away with a better, deeper understanding. At best you’ll make a beautiful new connection that enhances your world. (More to come from me on this subject in a future Midlife Musing, but I strongly believe that as midlife leaders we need to support the next generation, not see them as a friction point).
All of these involve an investment of time and effort, but tell me the most satisfying achievements in your life and I’ll guarantee you that there’s a direct correlation – those achievements that involved the greatest struggles, are the ones that ended up meaning the most to you.
So now’s the time to draw a line in the proverbial sand. Stop quiet-quitting and go recapture that spirit – just start somewhere with one small thing and go from there… and remember that you don’t have to do it alone.
| |
Your Questions, My Take
The Dangers Of The False Finish Line
Ultimately I created The Prime Movement for you, so every week I’ll be answering a question relating to the challenges you’re facing in work and in life. Message me at jason@theprimemovement.com if you’ve got a challenge you want to share.
Question: I’ve just moved into a new senior executive role at my firm and even though it’s the ‘dream job’ I’ve been working towards since I joined about 4 years ago, the reality is that I”m not enjoying it that much. I”m not sure what I’m expecting, but it just feels like more of the same, except with more pressure and higher expectations. I’m really thinking I’ve made the wrong move and I’m not sure what to do.
Answer: Firstly, you’re not alone, this situation is far more common than you think, so common in fact, that there’s a name for it – the ‘arrival fallacy’. This is basically the false belief that achieving your particular big goal will see you reach a place of lasting happiness.
I fell into this psychological trap during my own corporate career – continually creating artificial ‘finish lines’, only to feel a sense of ‘Is this it?’ once I got there. In short, I was focused too much on the destination, instead of the journey. Things for you to reflect on:
-
Go to the source – why are you not enjoying the role, is it solely because you expected to feel a constant state of happiness and achievement once you assumed it, or are there other factors at play here? Self-awareness is critical (and/or support from a coach), as it’s important to dig below that initial gut reaction to understand what is really going on – is it a feeling of unmet expectations or is it the increasing demands you’re finding yourself placed under?
-
Shift from outcome to process – Do this and there is the potential to reframe the new role – what are the opportunities to learn and grow that you are being presented with? With this new platform, what ‘licence’ do you have to explore that you didn’t have in the previous role? Remember that feeling uncomfortable or experiencing doubt in role at this stage is not a bad thing, it could simply be a signal that you are on a growth trajectory.
-
Be a driver, not a passenger – If you accept the right ‘route’ is focusing on the present rather than an idealised version of the future, this creates a space to think about those factors within your control that you can positively influence to affect your sense of fulfilment – you acknowledge the ‘more of the same’ feeling, so turn that into a positive. View your experience to date as data points and extract insights from them: what things do you enjoy doing most? What are energy drainers that you can delegate? Etc.
If you’ve got a situation you want guidance on, message me at jason@theprimemovement.com.
| |
Lessons from a Prime Mover: Learning from the midlife men who lead by example
Rick Rubin: the iconic music industry figure on the power of doubt, what really defines success and how it’s essential to keep embracing new experiences
I’ve been aware of Rick Rubin for years, thanks to his groundbreaking production work with everyone from the Beastie Boys and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers through to Metallica and Johnny Cash. However, it was reading The Creative Act, his collection of philosophical reflections and insights that came out last year, that really made me consider him as a Prime Mover. It’s a book packed with wisdom that we can all learn from, so I’m sharing some of his best knowledge bombs here:
1. “Doubt is an essential part of the creative process. Without doubt, you don’t push yourself beyond your comfort zone.”
Continuing with the theme of personal growth and the need to resist the dangerous allure of the comfort zone, Rubin is so right when he says that doubt is something we should embrace rather than fear. He makes his point in the context of the creative process but I strongly believe it’s a universal one – doubt should not signal retreat, as it so often does in midlife. Reframe your thoughts around it and accept it as a natural part of growth.
2. “Success is not about being famous, it’s about the creative process. It’s about being fulfilled in your work.”
At first glance this may sound like a statement of the obvious, but I want you to dig a little deeper here and reflect on this more through the lens of external validation rather than fame per se. My question to you then is ‘who are you really doing this for?’. Fulfilment will never come if your primary driver is extrinsic goals such as status or recognition. They are false Gods. You know this. So act on it.
3. “If you’re immediately turned off by an experience, it’s worth examining why. Powerful reactions often indicate deeper wells of meaning.”
As a coach this deeply resonated with me. At INSEAD we were schooled in the psychodynamic approach, which focuses on exploring the unconscious processes and past experiences that influence a client’s current behaviours, thoughts, and emotions. So when I see a client have a visceral reaction like this I view it as an important data point that I want to explore with them. For you as a reader, I’d urge you to self-reflect when you’re in this scenario, as there will be vital insights you may otherwise miss if you just have a knee-jerk reaction. Rubin is right, they are indicators of deeper wells of meaning and unlocking those can be powerful from a self-development perspective. Don’t waste that opportunity to learn and grow.
| |
Help a Brother Out: Send this to a Friend
The Prime Movement has been created for midlife men like us. Those who are in the arena of life, fighting and struggling to do their best. So if you have a friend who you think will benefit from reading this and from becoming part of The Prime Movement community, please forward it on so they can sign up. We are stronger together.
You currently have 0 referrals.
Or copy & paste this link: https://news.theprimemovement.com/subscribe?ref=PLACEHOLDER
LET’S TALK…
I created The Prime Movement for you, so the more I can hear from you about what you want to see, hear and learn, the more I can shape this for you. Message me at jason@theprimemovement.com and I’ll promise to personally respond to every message. We’re in this together.
